Break the Taboo - Gay Men In Sport

​As a leader in sport, when the opportunity presents itself, people should stand up and do what is right for society. Recently I was asked to contribute to a TV documentary from a sport psychology perspective about gay men in sport. I had apprehensions about getting involved - how would it be perceived? Have I anything worthwhile to say as a straight man. I thought about it a lot from a sports leadership perspective - and from the perspective of what is required now by a young vulnerable gay man in sport. What would he need? And I thought to myself, if I am truly a leader, I need to contribute and say something.

You see I come from that traditional background in Irish sport. Brought up in rural Ireland, I was immersed deeply in team sports and the GAA. I played a lot of hurling and soccer at reasonably competitive levels. I dabbled in Gaelic football and rugby competitively and tried many other sports recreationally. I have heard the dressing room banter around this very issue - and probably never said anything, never said stop. I let things go that were not OK, as did many others. Maybe I was part of the culture that didn't accept gay men in sport, even if fundamentally, I had no personal issue with it whatsoever. By not shouting stop, was I facilitating that very culture that hunted some of our society out of sports that they loved?

And then I started teaching PE in a midlands second level co-educational school. Over 20 years, my job was to ensure every kid got a chance in sport. I began looking at things from the perspective of the weakest. What could I do to get some of the weakest kids involved, those that wanted to disengage from physical education. How could I make it fun for them and change their perspectives as 12 or 13 year olds despite their low self confidence within the sporting space. By the time they had reached 1st year in secondary school, many had already come to the conclusion that 'sport isn't for them'. I wanted them to think 'well I might actually enjoy this if I give it a go'.

Many had tried traditional team sports but had already disengaged with PE before leaving primary school. Within this cohort, there were many young gay male adolescents - who felt vulnerable, threatened in the culture around sport, and still are perhaps. And there were others too I am sure, who were good sports men, who made some of those school teams, and were in those sporting dressing rooms, as gay men who hadn't come out for fear of isolation, who stopped playing since for those very reasons. The statistics (9% of population) tell us that on average, there is at least one boy in every class of 25. That is 5-10 students I would engage with on a daily basis on average. They are there on our underage teams we train, often in adult panels too hiding in plain sight, and in our Go Games teams as kids not yet identified.

I've seen the implications of these types of issues for young men and their difficulties around mental health in my role as a Home School Community Liaison with TUSLA. Sometimes, in the most severest of cases that involved suicidal ideation, suicidal actions and a torrent of pain and suffering for families. That role and experiences within it brought home to me, the vulnerabilities that some of our youth are subjected to in their transformative years. If this attempt to have a conversation about what is largely considered a taboo issue, somewhat alleviates any stress, anxiety or mental health issue of a young person, then it is worth it.

​Above, are some of the first males to come out as homosexual within their respective sports - Gareth Thomas (Wales Rugby), Jake Daniels (Blackpool FC), Jason Collins (NBA), Donal Og Cusack (GAA). They are some of the brave ones who have tried to normalise it for the generation coming behind them.

Our job as teachers, coaches and leaders in sport is to make sport as enjoyable and attainable for the weakest and most vulnerable as it is for the talented sports people - with the end goal being to bring as many with us through that sporting journey as we can - that is the utopia, an aim I still aspire to. Their sexuality should not come into it and where coaches come across bullying in this vein, they are duty bound to both deal with it and do their level best to eradicate it. 

Then there is my own life in sport. I've moved on from playing sport but I enjoyed it immensely and it gave me lots of pleasure when I could. After 4 knee operations from playing too much, coaching and an odd round of golf is now my level of involvement. As a happily married man (occasionally) with four kids under nine, I have a responsibility to them even more than society - and part of that is to try help ensure the culture around their sport is good where I can have influence - and better than it once was for others. And then you think, 'What if one of the kids happened to be gay?' Would it be OK to stand idly by as a leader in sport and pass up on an opportunity to contribute to a national conversation and help make sport better for all. What would your kids say 10 or 15 years down the line if you didn't do something when you had the chance to influence some form of change on a very small level so that their lives and the lives of their peers could be so much better.

Lots of people I know - friends, work colleagues and acquaintances have gay sons, gay brothers, gay nephews, gay grand-children or gay cousins - people they care about - and some of whom have had their struggles with this very issue in sport within a culture they perceive to be toxic and discriminatory. What would they think if they knew you had the chance to influence change and you said or did nothing.

On reflection, I got a hell of a lot out of sport as a straight man...... but sport should be available and inclusive for everybody. One thing I have learned through my experiences in life is that cultures can change over time, but it needs people to stand up at times and inspire that culture change from within that culture where it is necessary.

This 'taboo' topic is probably where racism in sport was back in the 1960's when Tommie Smith stood on the Olympic podium with a raised fist, joined by bronze medalist John Carlos in response to a human rights issue at the time. Racism is no longer acceptable in sport because of the actions of these leaders back then.

You are the leaders of today's sporting culture. Many will read this, move on and not engage for fear of something you are either not familiar with or afraid of. There is nothing to be afraid of. Some will acknowledge or 'Like' it and only brave and genuinely conscientious sporting leaders will 'Share'.

Can we as leaders in sport in our time follow that All-Blacks perspective as coaches and try and leave our jersey in a better place than when we found it so that sport is better for all of society, not just the sporting society we are familiar or comfortable with and that includes ALL of the many kids that we currently coach or teach.

Below is possibly the start of a national conversation that maybe attempts to address this issue. Thanks to David Gough & Midas Productions for the opportunity to contribute.
As leaders in sport, lets have that conversation.
Shares and comments welcome.
#diversity #inclusionmatters #leadership #sports

Watch TV show on link here:
https://www.tg4.ie/en/player/play/?pid=6370519072112&title=Br%C3%B3d%20sa%20Sp%C3%B3rt&series=Misneach&genre=Faisneis&pcode=696549
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​Keith Begley is a member of BASES and an accredited performance psychologist with Sport Ireland Institute.
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